Smitty's Silly Match Preview: New York Red Bulls

Columbus returns from the land of the Canucks, only to be welcomed to the temporary land of the utility trucks. Hurricane Ike, in Ohio? Can someone email George W. Bush and tell him the Haliburton Hurricane Machine is supposed to hit the Gulf Coast, and not the Midwest? Seriously dude, WTF?

Still, even a cautious outside observer would be compelled to tell the Crew's head coach, "You're doing a heckuva job, Sigi." Only in this case, he really is. But of late, the team compiled by Mr. Osorio in New York is faring pretty well, going 4-1-1 in it's last six. When two of the hottest teams in MLS collide with a high pressure system of being the game of the week on ESPN2, it's bound to be a storm of biblical proportions. Hope you've got power by then...

GAME 25 - NEW YORK RED BULLS



What You Need To Know: Before getting a last-minute sponsorship offer from Red Bull, New York almost inked a deal that would have made them "New York Crystal Light."

New Additions: Mac Kandji, a Senegalese forward New York snagged from Atlanta of USL 1, will not play this week against Columbus due to fear.

Well, that and a sprained ankle. But fear first.

Chances of making the playoffs:

The Crew? About as likely as John Wolyniec winning a Taylor Hicks look-a-like contest.

New York? More like Wolyniec getting a gig endorsing Just for Men; it makes sense, just don't know if he'll be able to seal the deal.

Topical Insult of the Week: "Hey New York fans! Columbus is going to beat you like the housing crisis beat up Fannie Mae! Only, there won't be a federal reserve and quorum of Senators to save your ass!"

Crew Notes:

- Guillermo Barros Schelotto will be resting his ailing hamstrings for a second straight week, in preperation for New England on Sept. 27th. Apparently, they're a little worn from carrying around Guille's Massive Balls.

Match preview here.

Prediction: The Crew replicate their mad scoring dash of 2004, where they scored 4 goals on New York to win 4-2. This time, Gaven scores for the Crew (he played for New York back then), as do Moreno, Marshall, and Garey. Noonan and Rogers get 2 assists apiece.