Smitty's Silly Match Preview: Los Angeles Galaxy

Celebrities are made every day on the internet, whether it be by doing a spot-on impersonation of Sarah Palin, or by playing Dragon Force on Guitar Hero 3 while blindfolded, or by taking a picture a day of yourself for a year. Face it, when we hear the word celebrity, starlets like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie take away from the true meaning of the word. A real celebrity is someone who can hold an audience of thousands in utter awe, someone who causes grown men and women alike to stare when they walk in a room, someone whose face on a billboard can sell a bag of crap with rusty nails poking out of it. A real celebrity can travel to multiple countries, and get a table whenever he wants it, wherever he wants it.

With all these fake celebrities running around, it'll be refreshing to finally see a REAL celebrity on the field Saturday night in Crew Stadium:



Wait...who did you think I was talking about?

GAME 27 - LOS ANGELES GALAXY



What You Need To Know: Bruce Arena says that soccer in the midwest is a "circus", which many people though was a slam on Middle America. In reality, he was just trying to say that Cuahetemoc Blanco is a grade-A clown.

New Additions: Eddie Lewis was brought in so some of the lesser-paid players could use his AARP discount at the local Dennys.

Chances Of Making The Playoffs:About as real as Posh Spice's Sweater Puppies (TM).

Topical Insult Of The Week: "Hey all you Galaxy fans! Maybe the government will send you a rescue package to save your season!"

Or, if you're less sensitive:

"Even though they found Steve Fossett's remains, rescuers are saying there is no hope of finding Alexi Lalas's resume anywhere for the next 12 months."

What, too soon?

Crew Notes:

- Coach Sigi Schmid and Captain Frankie Hejduk will not be able to stalk the sidelines and lead the team into victory, after getting thrown out of last week's match. Look for Sigi to be hanging out at the concession stands. As for Frankie? He'll be putting new meaning into the phrase "going on a beer run..."

- New song this week for the Nordeck (to the tune of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls)-

If you wanna make the playoffs
You've gotta play some D
Landon cannot win it
If you lose 4-3

If you wanna make the playoffs
It's not a likely dream
But you can always root for
A F***ing Massive Team!

Match preview here.

Prediction: Gino Padula makes mincemeat of David Beckham (best matchup of the year, for me), Andy Iro and Chad Marshall punish Lando Cal Prissycakes, and California Boys Robbie Rogers and Chad Marshall make Bruce Arena wish there was a fence around Cali, as they score in the Crew's 3-0 walk.