Morning Afterthoughts: Worshipping a False God

Many of you good Hooligans duly celebrated your Sabbath on Saturday, doing no work, and worshipping at the Church of Lamar as the Crew came back to earn a point against the evil Chicago F*re 2-2. Last night at that fabled steel shrine, in the absence of Pope Sigmund the Round, we saw many sins committed: lazy defending on the part of Deacons O'Rourke and Iro, officiating that was inconsistent and willfully ignorant, even the atrocious no-no, committed by Cardinal Warzycha, of subbing out a defender for...Lord, forgive me in advance... a FORWARD!

As the Crew faithful sing Hallelujahs about our comeback tie-almost-win-thingy, many are exalting the praises of one Emmanuel. And to be sure, Saint Ekpo is worthy; his passion and speed have ignited this team over the last few months. But many of the brethren are commiting an act of blasphemy by not acknowledging the one true savior:

And they will call him "Guille."

Last night, with a coniving, deformed, soothsayer of a false prophet on the other side of the pitch, Guillermo Barros Schelotto showed why the teams he has played on have reached the promised land 15 times during his professional career. He showed while magic and coniving can get one so far (you listening, Blanco?), true heart and wisdom will persevere at the end of the day. He showed that where there is nothing, he can create something.

Fortunately, we don't have to rely on hearsay and rumor to confirm the wonders of Guille. We have video proof:

Guille takes a free kick and comes within a foot of putting in a goal of the week.


Guille with another near GOTW. This play was headed nowhere, yet Guille nearly puts in a miracle.


Guille finds a wide open Chad Marshall in the box. Marshall should get 40 lashings for missing such a simple goal.


Guille fools everyone but Hejduk on a beautifully weighted pass, which Hejduk and Miglioranzi nearly tuened into the winner.


After taking the ball of a F*ire foot, Schelotto nearly draws a PK. Guille giveth AFTER taking away.


By the way, did I mention Guille provided the assists on both goals? He now leads the league with 8 assists on the season.

Many have been led astray by false prophets (Blanco, Beckham, even an "Angel"), but as for me and my house, we will stand with Guillermo. Clearly, the best player on the field Saturday night was wearing Black and Gold.

Thank God.

4 comments:

Ryan Kozlowski said...

Good points, definitely earning that DP money.

Anonymous said...

Im disagreeing with u in the defensive side. O'Rourke played a solid game. The 1st goal the fire scored Chad should have headered it away before everything happened. The 2nd goal they scored Frankie(and Marshall)was just jogging back and left Iro all by himself. Iro is only a rookie and to be in a tough spot with a 2 on 1 is very hard. I love Hejduk and his offensive work but he has to remember that he plays defense and when he pushes up he has to sprint back, not just jog back

The Ultra said...

the shitcago goals were crappy errors on our part sigi will make them pay for that.

Guille is a monster! Very worth DP money, I bow to that man any day of the week!

Anonymous said...

I felt like i was reading the script from the quest for the Holy Grail. Hahaha. I was wondering about that sub too. Bad refereeing all the way though. I'm sure coach will make them watch this over and over and practice the defense over and over. There was no excuse got the two Chi goals.