Morning Afterthoughts: Crew are "Ekpo"-nentially Better.

(Photo courtesy of G. Bertram/ Getty)

The Crew got goals from Guillermo Barros Schelotto (off a PK earned by Moreno) and Emmanuel Ekpo, who got his first MLS goal in stunning fashion, putting in a solo effort for the game winner. Here are some random thoughts I had while watching the game.

- 30:21. That was the first time I bothered to look up at the scoreboard in the first half. I am a perpetual scoreboard watcher, usually checking every three to four minutes to see where we are in the half, how long it's been since we've had a shot, things like that. Today, the Crew dominated possession in the first half and played very entertaining football for the first half hour of the match. Sadly, they did not get results in the first half, but the 2-1 victory was fair, if a little closer than it should have been.

- "Moreno REALLY looks slow." And just as I thought that, he made two guys miss and earned the penalty. He's not fast, but his work rate is unbeatable and he is very savvy. I just have to adjust my preferences to fit this team; we have speed (Rogers, Expo, Hejduk) on the edges and workhorses (Marshall, Moreno, Carrol) in the middle of the field. I like to see more speed through the middle of the park, but this team works with what they have. Sigi is getting this team to win even while missing some of the guys he brought in to help.

- "Why is that guy in the US Natty Team Jersey dragging people out of the section?" This guy ran past me three or four times, a couple of times nearly knocking me over, to go get some of the smoke bombers. I asked him why he felt like he had to be such a boyscout, and he told me he was undercover security. I asked him to see his badge and he told me to "f#ck off". So that was nice. Later, though, I did confirm that he works with the CSC with one of their uniformed employees. I then told her that he should wear some ID so someone doesn't haul off and hit him for being a jackass. She nodded her head in agreement.

Just an FYI to all the fans in the Nordecke: the Crew FO so appreciates your business that they are now committing 4 CPD officers, 10 CSC guards, undercover agents, and the ever-trusty spy cams sitting on the lighting grid. I guess I didn't realize Crew Stadium was making so much bank at the gate that they could start affording to terrorize their best fans with all the paranoia-inducing, Big Brother kind of security they seem to be using now. Maybe we should come up with a secret handshake or something...

Also, kudos to the security guard for being the douchebag who doesn't have Crew gear, so he wears any soccer-related item he can find. I love it when I see fans walking around in Brazil or Chelsea kits at Crew Stadium. No, really, I do.

- "Is Iro-O'Rourke really better than "O'Rourke-Junge?" I think so, but Iro still needs a lot of work. Due to his height, he obviously is very good in the air, and can be strong with the forwards. But he needs to work on his positioning and fouls. Both can be corrected, especially in a rookie. Sadly, I think Sigi will put O'Rourke back in the middle once we're back to full strength.

And finally:

- "EKPO!!!!! WHAT A GOAL!!!!" When I saw him take the ball through what seemed like 92 defenders and STILL beat the keeper, I was so stunned/amazed/excited all I could do was laugh. I could not cheer, or scream, or do anything other than go "Wow!" and laugh. Truly an amazing goal.

But now, we must forget about the Dick's from Colorado, as it is now time for Chicago week. That's right. Two huge Eastern Conference foes are throwing down in my town halfway through the season to see who is going to be in the driver's seat for the 2nd half of the season to get a playoff position. Here's hoping we exploit every injury the Fire have and annihilate them 5-0.

Pouvez-vous m'entendre maintenant ?

Among the many things Crew fans worry about in their day to day lives, one hopes that Sigi Schmid's cell phone contents ranks very low on the list. I doubt many people are currently wondering what ringer the man has, or who are in his "Five."

Almost unbelievably, I happen to know both of those answers:

Ringer
Tokio Hotel - Monsoon

Sigi's Five
1. Mark McCullers
2. Valerie Schmid
3. Bobby Warzycha
4. Thierry Henry
5. Alexi Lalas (for prank call purposes only)

Perhaps some of you balked at number four on the list in Sigi's Five. Perhaps some of you are also wondering how I learned such privileged information. (Let's just say I am not above looking at some one's cell phone while it's lying on the bar.) But regardless of how I know what I know, or if you even cared prior to this moment, Crew Nation now has a reason to be interested in Sigmund's mobile. Don't believe me? Check out this piece of info gleaned from the excellent Crew blog Shawn Mitchell writes for The Dispatch.

“I don’t think you’re going to get Thierry Henry to come to Columbus because it’s too far for him to go to watch LeBron play,” Schmid joked. “I was going to call him and tell him that the NBA team is leaving Seattle. He might not be aware of that, at least until he sees Tony Parker.”

So, let me get this straight, Sigs: You have the phone number to one of the most famous soccer players in the known world? What, are you guys chummy? Do you call each other after Henry's scored for Barcelona, while your forwards can't even manage two SHOTS on goal, and laugh about the good old days, when he didn't come to UCLA, and you weren't coaching in the English Premier League? Were you text messaging wildly the first time you saw him on the Gillette Fusion commerical?

If you read that full article, you'll also note that Sigi once again takes a chance to say that Columbus is a town where you'll get family men and younger players. But the superstars won't come here because it lacks a certain panache', if you will. He then goes into his little fantasy of having Thierry Henry's cell phone, which I can assure you, he doesn't. While I have many, many well-founded doubts about the HSG's ability or willingness to sign a player who requires a multi-million dollar transfer fee and salary, I don't think it's too much to ask for the coach of the local team to at least pretend like HE enjoys being here. Stop talking about how Thierry Henry and David Beckham won't come to Columbus. Stop talking about how only the people who don't go out after 9pm will like this town. Columbus may not be L.A., but it's not Topeka, Kansas either.

Meanwhile, the Crew are still having trouble getting Emmanuel Ekpo into camp. From the above article:

“We’re still working on it,” Schmid said of the Crew’s attempt to sign the Nigerian midfielder. “It’s not completely dead yet. But it’s getting close to (transfer close date) to the 15th rolling around so we’re hoping to get it done by then.”

OK, now I'm really confused. Apparently, Sigi Schmid, the soccer power broker who can dial up Thierry Henry to give him some friendly advice, doesn't have the mojo to get the Nigerian Soccer Federation to grease the skids?

Look, I'm not trying to be a downer here, but this is the same "Shucks! We just missed him" attitude the Crew and Sigi in particular displayed last year when it came to signing that mythical DP. That same attitude has continued with the Maciej Zurawski debacle, which was not completely the Crew's fault. But now we're having trouble getting a discovery signing to come in, someone who may get here and be the African version of Jacob Thomas, for all we know. Again, I know that's not all Ekpo's fault, and that is somewhat comparing apples to the proverbial oranges. The point is, the Crew is once again faced with the possibility of missing out on a player who could answer one of the problems we have had the last three years.

I don't expect the Crew to be able to convince Thierry Henry to lace up a pair of Black and Gold boots, but if we can't even pay the money to get a discovery player who impressed the coaches in camp, how are we ever going to believe that the Crew will unload the necessary cash to make this club a winner? And if the coach is constantly taking potshots at the town, how are the potential players we want ever going to take Columbus seriously?

Hello? Front office...Can you hear me now?