Smitty's Silly Crew Preview: Game 9 - New England

After a stunning tie to the Canucks, the Black and Gold are ready to get back in the win column. It's Buck-A-Brat night so make sure you buy at least one extra to throw at the first Revs player to take a corner.

New England

Andy Herron's finest moment as a Crew player.


What You Need To Know: Taylor Twellman is doubtful with a strained labia.

New Additions: Some guy named "Kenny Mansally", which sounds like police codespeak for a serial tranny hooker.

Biggest Holes to Fill: Still got that open space on the ol' trophy case...

2008 Prediction: Taylor Twellman will continue to look like an ass in those Kick-Medic commercials.

Match Preview here.

Game Prediction: Adam Moffat and Taylor Twellman both come in as 2nd half subs. Moffat scores the winner in his return, as Twellman gets put in traction by Frankie Hejduk. Crew win 3-1.

Crew Hymnal

Since I've been on vacation this week, I've had some time to think about some good songs for the Crew. I spent a majority of Saturday in a Toyota Prius with another rabid Crew fan (my brother), an up-and-coming-Crew fan (his wife), and an on-her-way-to-being-a-Crew-fan (my wife.) Anyway, we brought quite a few mix CDs, and ended up with some good song ideas.

OK, so it's only two. Whatever.

On my Vans Warped Tour compilation CD, there is a great band called "Gogol Bordello." They are by far the most unique/funny/disturbing bands I have ever listened to at length. The other day, on the way out to vacation, my brother and I had an idea for a new song for the Crew based off of their song "Start Wearing Purple". You can probably already see where this is going...

Start wearing yellow, wearing yellow
Start wearing yellow for me now
All humanity
Will sing this for Columbus
I promise
in only
A matter of time...

They rhythm is a little complicated, but what the hell, we all had music class in grade school, right?

Here's the video to aid in singing. about :30 seconds in is the part that sounds more like a crowd singing it.



Anyone know how to play the accordion? Anyone know how to spell it, because I think I failed.

Second on the hit parade is a take-off of the old AC/DC tune "What Do You Do for Money, Honey?". The song is specifically for Taylor Twellman.

Twellman!
Not good enough for England!
Twellman!
Stuck on Nicol's bench again!

You can obviously take the song 100 different ways, so here's the AC/DC video to use for some inspiration. :58 is where the chorus starts for the youngsters out there.



Some other ideas (in case he actually plays):

Twellman!
Has never had a woman!
He likes to date his hand!
Still can't beat Houston!
He's got a stupid fake tan!

You can see how easy that would be to take to the next level. The idea would be to repeat that pattern over and over again.

We've got a few more days, so let's try both of these out.